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I'm Not Fat™ | Maple & Walnut Hardwood Chopping Board for DND Fans

I'm Not Fat™ | Maple & Walnut Hardwood Chopping Board for DND Fans

$29.99 USD
$59.99 USD $29.99 USD
Sale Sold out
Taxes included.
  • Only 3 left in maple
Size
Wood

I’m Not Fat, I Roll Nat 20s on Feast Checks

The Only Cutting Board That Crits on Carbs

For the adventurer who lives for flavor and flavor text — this engraved board brings the laughs to every kitchen or game-night snack table.

🐉 Why This Belongs in Your Inventory:

  • Laser-Engraved with Legendary Precision:
    Crisp, permanent design that’s as sharp as your comebacks.
  • Dish Out Humor & Hospitality:
    Perfect for the player who’s equal parts chef, snack hoarder, and comic relief.

🎁 Who This Board’s For:

  • Dads with a dice addiction and a food obsession

  • Dungeon Masters who also master the BBQ

  • Players whose characters carry more jerky than potions

Whether you're prepping your next campaign or devouring the post-game feast, this board ensures you’re always rolling high — especially on appetite checks.

Add to cart now — your kitchen deserves a critical upgrade.

 

A Kitchen Keepsake That Lasts a Lifetime

This isn’t just a cutting board — it’s a lasting reminder of your love, engraved into something they will cherish for years to come.

Whether it’s used to prep family meals or simply displayed as a keepsake in their home, this handcrafted board carries your message, your wisdom, and your presence — even when you can’t be there in person.

Made to Last Like Your Love

  • Choose from 8.5" x 11" or 5.5" x 8" to suit her space and style
  • Proudly crafted in the USA using 100% American hardwood
  • Your words are permanently etched with precision and care
  • Durable enough to use, beautiful enough to display

A Gift Straight From the Heart

This personalized board is more than just a kitchen tool — it’s a daily reminder that they're strong, brave, and deeply loved.

Give them something to hold onto. Something that says,

"Even when I’m not there, I’m always in your heart."

A Promise to You & Your Family

We know how special this gift is — whether it’s a heartfelt keepsake or a legacy to pass down.

If you're not 100% happy when it arrives, just let us know within 14 days and we’ll replace it, no questions asked.

Because gifts that come from the heart should feel just right.

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